MY CREATIVE PROCESS

I am feeling restless.
This is usually how I feel when I'm stuck creatively & emotionally.
I usually try to keep my posts similar and poetic, but honestly some days I just want to posts rants or pictures or whatever the crap I want. And I have decided to sometimes talk more about my creative process, maybe some people will like that. I decided I have this little corner of the internet that I have complete power over, and I want to share how I work and live creatively not just the finished product.

I thrive off of creative projects, and right now because I am not enrolled in any art classes, I have limited art supplies funds, and my life doesn't change much or give me new inspiration-- my main projects are this blog and Instagram. I really do like Instagram because it gives me an outlet for the way I see the world through individual pictures. It forces and allows me to find beauty in every little activity I do, and make anything I want to pretty.

Also, I think in color schemes. As much as I crave and love good music, I would still rather be deaf than blind -- colors are everything to me. I mentally hold paint swatches up in my head of all the colors that I have coincided with certain experiences and people from my life. For the most part, my Instagram has an unconscious color scheme and I love that, because that is exactly how I see the world.

Outside of writing poetry I am super passionate about graphic design, but that has been weird for me lately-- for a few weeks I had no motivation to do design or think about it, which makes sense, I am in the middle/end of figuring out some really big things in my life, and that wasn't exactly at the top of the list. I am having a hard time with graphic design because I would love to be a lot better at it than I am, but I don't know if a four year degree is the best/easiest/most inspirational/ect. way to get there. I know what kind of design I LOVE but I have a hard time generating my own ideas. I don't know what to do about that.

When I feel like this, I like to look to inspiration, like most people, but over the years I've learned there is a fine balance between what inspires me to move forward and create my own stuff, versus what I can spend hours wishing I could do, without actually getting anywhere. For example, I used to be an avid Pinterest user-- I thought that with all that inspiration I would create so many great things, but I never actually did. Why? Envy, feelings of inadequacy as an artist, and a lack of time to actually create because it was all spent "getting inspired." It wasn't until I took a step back, realized I already had PLENTY of pretty pictures, inspiration, and ideas in my head, deleted Pinterest, and started living the lifestyle I had only been "pinning" up until then, that I really started creating. That was huge for me. It is important that I stay aware of that situation, because the same exact thing can happen with Insta, other blogs, ect.

A list of things that inspire me AND push me/help me actually generate my own ideas:

+ good songs
+ live performances of other people's art (or poetry you-tube videos)
+ TED Talks
+ occasionally checking out just one or two Pinterest accounts that inspire me (I only ever look at Morgan's now, and it's all I use, I like her "Essence" board)
+ talking to people/ getting feedback
+ driving, music, windows down
+ wearing an outfit I love (not kidding, when I am confident and dressed in a way that fits the lifestyle I want, I create better art)
+ people watching
+ mood boards

To recap: I choose to only gather "inspiration" from things that actually spark ideas or push me to create my own projects.

Mood boards are a tool I've used off and on for years as a way to create my own projects, even if they are entirely made up of the work of others. Just like a stolen poem (made by combining and rearranging lines from other poet's works), and blackout poem, or a song cover, it is completely okay to create a new unique project built from other pieces you find inspiring. This is possibly the best way to use other's works as a springboard for your own ideas, because you are still creating something new instead of endlessly being just an observer.

Above is an example of a mood board I created almost two years ago when I was feeling stuck and restless just like now. I still really like it, which is surprising because in some ways my writing and skill has changed a lot in the past two years, but my taste hasn't much. I like how it has an unplanned color scheme, it's dynamic, and it's some parts humorous & some parts pretty (which is how I like my designs and projects).

I've been changing my blog lately and messing around with new ideas, just trying to keep the creativity flowing. I've learned that when I get stuck like this, the best thing to do is just to make SOMETHING. Anything, as bad as it turns out, the more you put out there the more you are likely to like. So I'll probably be posting more first drafts, more "eh" poems, more blog designs, and possibly some more mood boards for a while.